John

Hailing from the cuts of Humboldt County, California, Junior is the trivial-pursuit partner your wildest dreams would never care to have. We almost didn’t hire him because his name is actually John, and we didn’t want the verbal confusion between him and Jon. However, we heard that it might be illegal to deny him the job since he was almost qualified for the position. In any case, we begrudgingly brought him on, figuring it’d be a good excuse to come up with a sweet nickname. After a lot of trial and error, we stumbled upon “John Jr.” but quickly realized that straight up “Junior” was the winning ticket. (Joon, Junes or June-ya are affectionally thrown around as well, but not Junebug because he is terrified of most winged insects 🐝 ). But winning isn’t exactly Junior’s strong suit and his lucky streak’s been on strike. For example, he recently invested in both Bitcoin and Sears stock.