A world-famous harvester of useless information, Junior is the trivial-pursuit partner your wildest dreams would never care to have. We almost didn't hire him because his name is actually John, and we didn't want the verbal confusion between him and Jon. However, we heard that it might be illegal to deny him the job since he was almost qualified for the position. In any case, we begrudgingly brought him on, figuring it'd be a good excuse to come up with a sweet nickname.
After a lot of trial and error, we stumbled upon "John Jr." but quickly realized that straight up "Junior" was the winning ticket. (June, Junya and Junebug are all sorta ok too). This is not to be confused with a Junior Developer, because even though he's only 14 years old, he has both the mind and coding skills of an 83-year-old senior on speed. Speaking of speed, he escaped from the woods of Humboldt County. Outside of landing the job–he's truly been on a major lucky streak. Not only has he recently invested in both Bitcoin and Sears stock—on his first day we drew straws and he got the shortest one, so he sits next to Jules.