She likes to go by "LP" so we don't call her that on purpose, but please, feel free to use that uninteresting and super-unmemorable moniker when she swings by to take the most amazing photos you've ever laid your eyes on. Don't worry, she'll make sure your double chin is minimal. We could go on, but we all know that's what's most important.
One time she said that she likes Jon for real and that his jokes are super funny in front of the rest of the staff. Let's just say they've given her a bit of a cold shoulder ever since. Plus, she says that she doesn't always get invited to Beer Friday, but hey, when you invite someone and they repeatedly stand you up because they're too cool to hang out with you unless you wear patchouli or regularly dress up like a railroad engineer, you stop asking. Important note: we spelled "patchouli" right the first time we tried. That's where a 2nd place victory in the 5th-grade spelling bee will get ya kids. Remember that.